Once again due to discussion over at the Doomstead Diner I've been asked to define what I consider a zombie to be. The issue is that the goal of the Diner is to "save as many as you can," and from what are we saving all of these people in need of saving? Well, if you don't know the answer to that question than I'm sorry to inform you that you are most likely a zombie. Now, don't go gettin' all pissed off at me cause you fit the description of a zombie. It's alright to be a zombie. At least you won't have to worry about not being able to find like minded folk to hang around with (which is a problem for us non-zombies). I'll now begin breaking down the requirements for membership in zombiehood. First I'll start with what Wikipedia has to say about zombies:
The idea of zombies is present in some South African cultures. In some communities it is believed that a dead person can be turned into a zombie by a small child. It is said that the spell can be broken by a powerful enough sangoma.It is also believed in some areas of South Africa that witches can turn a person into a zombie by killing and possessing the victim's body in order to force it into slave labor. After rail lines were built to transport migrant workers, stories emerged about "witch trains". These trains appeared ordinary, but were staffed by zombie workers controlled by a witch. The trains would abduct a person boarding at night, and the person would then either be turned into a zombie worker, or beaten and thrown from the train a distance away from the original location.
This idea that a witch can turn somebody into a zombie by killing them and possessing their soul in order to shanghai them into slave labor is mostly what I mean when I call somebody a zombie. Only it's not a witch, it's the agents responsible for the Matrix's hologram that are controlling the zombies. This is mostly done via the thaumaturgy that's perpetuated by television, Hollywood, marketing, and the corporate directive dictating profit beyond all else. This all leaves the zombie blindly following business as usual (BAU) with no consciousness whatsoever about the consequences of BAU.
A zombie has no idea that petroleum is a limited resource on which we have built our civilization. They have no idea that you can't have infinite growth on a finite planet. They don't care about 400 ppm carbon in the atmosphere, and they likely don't care that America's number one goal is to bomb your ass and take your gas. They don't care that there is no precedent for GMO's (genetically modified organisms), that our oceans are acidifying, that our food causes cancer, that allopathic medicine causes cancer, that we are loosing our topsoil at an alarming rate, that our government has been coopted by multinational corporations concerned about nothing but profit whom have decimated the constitution and bill of rights, that we have no freedoms, that we live in a surveillance Big Brother state where they can indefinitely detain you and torture you for no reason other than you fit a profile, or that we are running out of the very energy that is needed to keep all 7 billion of us on planet Earth alive. I can go on and on, but you get the picture (or you don't...in which case you are a....zombie).
A zombie is incapable of seeing all of the above for what it is. The usual zombie response to any of the above information is that it's all a libearl conspiracy (or "conservative" one depending on which side of the puppet show you're on), or scientists know what they are doing and will figure out how to fix all of the problems, or you're just a kooky nut job for bringing any of that up. A zombie lives their life from day to day having no idea that anything is wrong with our society. They have no idea how close we are to what has been dubbed our "near term extinction" or NTE. This is the idea that we have so destroyed our biosphere that the damage is rapidly becoming irreversible, and that we will soon enter a period where the biosphere will no longer support human life due to exponentially increasing problems due to CO2 concentration (that 400 ppm figure), as well as a host of other environmental problems due mainly to our industrial chemical making proclivities...and lets not forget the nasty habit we have of splitting atoms to insure a continuous stream of free flowing electrons into the magical holes in our sheet rocked walls for the purposes of single use appliances like electric can openers and hair dryers. The problem with this being the nuclear waste that we collectively ignore. It's not that bad...just bury it or leave it in tanks indefinitely while the scientists come up with the solution. In a couple of hundreds of thousands of years it will no longer be radioactive anyways.
Okay, so you are a zombie if you see no problem with our particle boarded, car dependent, GMOed monocropped, processed chemical food, military/corporate industrial complex, Matrix controlled, NSA electronic communication data collecting, cancer causing for profit allopathic medicine perpetuated, biosphere destroying, petroleum fueled holographic suburban Orwellian New World Bravely carcinomic arrangement commonly called BAU. If you think BAU is just fuckin' dandy then you are a zombie, and I am not going to waste anymore time with you. I've tried wasting my time with zombies. I tried for years after taking the red pill that opened my eyes to the truth about the American Hologram. I tried telling everybody I knew about how poisonous our food is, and how we're destroying our biosphere to keep a civilization dependent on the limited resources that are fossil fuels alive. My efforts were rewarded with more ostracizing and sideways looks than I care to ruminate on. You see, liberating yourself from the Matrix/hologram complex makes you an Outkast. You become an Outkast because you wake up and realize that you've been subsisting by catabolizing your environment in an unsustainable fashion...that same environment that creates a sufficient amount of oxygen and fresh water to keep your zombie ass alive.
It should be clear now what makes a person a zombie. So why does any of that matter (I mean aside from the fact that anthropomorphic NTE is something a hefty percentage of non-zombies are finding it worth while to discuss just now)? It matters because at the Diner we are attempting to save as many people as we can from all of the NTE causing agents. Zombies are people to...so maybe we should change it to "save as many non-zombies as we can." If it were up to me it would be something like that. At the Diner, we are trying to come up with a model of human socioeconomic strategies and tactics to weather the bottleneck that has been created by all of the zombies blindness and their unquenchable desire for more petroleum sugared brains. We're trying to "bioneer" a way forward that pays attention to all of the problems our species has created. This is no easy task. We've dubbed this entity SUN for "sustaining universal needs," and hopefully the first SUN project will be creating a viable foxstead for us to hole up in while civilization finishes glutting itself to death on petroleum sugar and the sweat of third world brown child labor for iphones and Bananas.
The zombie issue has become an issue due to my distaste for the way zombies smell. It's not that I don't care about zombies because I do. I know they are people to (if we agree to be extremely loose with the definition for "people"). They all have the same Buddha nature as I, and they will all bleed if cut and suffer in the same way. They all have feelings, favorite songs, and laugh and cry just like I do. But they also like watching football and grilling concentrated animal feeding operation pellets over gas while eating genetically modified fried corn chips sprayed with chemical flavorings. I understand all of that, and that's fine...hell I eat CAFO food...but I'm just not happy about that fact and see a problem with it. Zombies mostly don't like to read and prefer to have their world views issued to them by thaumaturic idiot panel MSM news. They DON'T SEE A PROBLEM with our society other than that gasoline is costing a bit too much these days...and so is the food...and medicine...and well just about everything else now that I think about it. And this is the main difference between a Zombie and an aspiring post-petroleum human; a zombie does not do anything about any of these problems because they aren't aware of them. But wait...what am I thinking for? Oh well, my favorite football team is on...holy shit did you see that sack...he got nailed like a motherfucker...that shit was crazy wasn't it. Pass the corn beer and chips...wait...what was I just talking about?
Nothing, you weren't talking about anything, you should get back to your beer and chips. Nothing to worry about, nothing to see here, go back to sleep America...your government is here to protect and provide for you. They will grow all of the food, keep all of the steady evolving microorganisms at bay with petrochemicals, and bomb all of the brown people for gas on your behalf. You just eat your chips and drink your beer and the scientists will figure out all of the problems. You can be a zombie, but don't come runnin' to the foxstead when diesel is 6 dpg at the pump and our just in time trucking insanity stops being viable. You didn't do shit to deal with the realities outside of the flatlands projected by the hologram. You didn't care to concern yourself with the dire reality we're inheriting for the ride down the back side of Hubbert's curve. I consider zombies nothing more than nature selecting the next quantum leap in the human genome. As in zombies will mostly be deselected for that leap. This is not a value judgement. This is just facts facilitated by the red pill.
Go back to sleep Zombie America...there's a zombie apocalypse coming to a theater near you any day now. With any luck I will be surrounded by nature and in the company of a post-petroleum human tribe when that apocalypse kicks off. Thanks to you that probably won't be the case. I'll probably still be here, slaving away with the zombies, trying to figure out how the hell to build a lifeboat out of the refuse from this plastic fabrication of a boat we call civilization. If I manage to cobble together said boat...you ain't gonna be welcome on it. It's not like belief in Jesus Christ...where you can be a shit bag your entire life and then repent just before your last breath gaining you access to heaven. No, I've seen you take your last breath, and I won't be mourning you. However, there still is time for you to wake up and stop eating brains. So do that...wake up now, while you still can, and be welcome amongst my tribe. Or...perish with the zombie horde. Either way I'm not going to lose any sleep over you...and you're not welcome at the foxstead as a zombie. It's nothing personal...just I've got a family to support.
You see, I'm holding you responsible for your beliefs. If you are an adult than you are responsible for what you believe and don't believe. You are responsible for knowing the truth about things. Nobody forced me to open my eyes up and develop a distaste for brains. I decided that I wanted to know what the truth was because it was time to grow up and take responsibility for myself. I've done that. Zombies don't do that. Zombies get on fukitol and watch football drunk and satiated on all manner of petroleum corn sugar, and zombies will watch the zombie apocalypse on the idiot panel during the halftime marketing break. Not me, hopefully I'll be outside in nature trying to facilitate the growth of food that's not dependent on petroleum to gain the calories I'll need to keep me and mine alive once the JIT truckin' inanity comes to an end. Zombies will most likely be shot on sight and burned in large piles. Such are the concerns us evolving post-petroleum humans have here at the precipice of near term human extinction.
BTW...I have no idea why Blogger decided the text color needed to change in this entry...every time I use the quote option that happens. ???