Entrance Into the Debt Servant Shell Game
I feel like I'm losing my mind because of the friction between how the world filters into my awareness and what the world requires of me. I say I'm a realist with idealist's fantasies and an optimistic pessimist. In other words I'm a contradiction in this world. It's not so much that I'm a contradiction as it is that the world is insane and calls that insanity sanity. That's the first deceit of society. If one is to swallow that untruth and then forget about it than one has effectively swallowed the end of their own consciousness. When O'brien asked Winston how many fingers he was holding up, O'brien believed his own lie. To be acclimated into society requires one to believe that contradictions are not contradictions which is why they need Newspeak and Doublethink. When they tell us that the economy is getting better they are lying. It's not getting better. When they tell you that the terrorist want to rape your family, burn down your house and torture your dog, they are lying. Only they don't even know that they are lying because they believe their own lies. The economy can't get any better because fiat currency requires infinite growth and infinite growth is not possible on a world that is finite. Terrorist don't care about you and your family (although admittedly they may want to burn down your house now because your government burned down their house, and they may want to torture you now because your government tortured them). The point is to be afraid and then trust Big Brother to take care of you. Without Big Brother you would not be able to make it in this world.
All of this bounces around in my head and constantly assaults my sanity. It's true, I know that, and because I'm not willing to let go of the truth I will be driven mad. All I have to do is succumb, take a pill, resistance is futile. I'm a Prole trying to live a Party Member's life. Things do not bring me happiness. I can't be bout off with electronic wizardry and petroleum fueled toys. Freedom brings me happiness, and I'm not talking about the plastic freedom we have in this country, and my freedom is not now, nor has it ever been willingly for sale. And I'm not talking about the freedom to choose which fast food feeding lot to wheel your fat ass through, or what channel to watch on the telescreen to assist in your mind numbing digital lobotomy. I'm talking about the freedom that comes when you are not beholden to any entity. The freedom that allows you to change your life without fear of financial ruin. The freedom to point at ineptitude, incompetence, and stupidity and call it by it's name and not some cherry picked, corrupt euphemism. Euphemisms are just socially accepted perpetuation of denial. A society in service of euphemisms is a society in service of mental masturbation. They jack us off with euphemism after euphemism.
Why should we work 70 and 80 hours a week just to make it? Why should we sacrifice our waking life to line the man's pocket with gold? Why can't everybody just work 20 hours a week and make a living wage doing it? If we all worked 20 hours a week there would be work for everybody and we would all have all the time we would need for leisure and enjoyment. There is no reason why this can't be the case. No good reason at least. Instead of this our society thinks that 1% of the population should have 50% of the wealth and do nothing for it, the bottom of society doesn't have to work at all and gets a check in the mail, and the middle part works 80 hours a week to make a house payment and have healthcare. Looks to me like the middle is doing all of the work and getting neither wealth nor time for it. The bottom and the top is bleeding the middle for all it's worth. And what is the middles response to this non-sense...the protestant work ethic. The idea that if you just work hard enough for long enough you will one day get wealth and time. If you work enough hours you'll get what the top and bottom of society are getting for nothing. That is if you are lucky enough to not have a heart attack caused by fast food and complications between your allopathic poisons in pill form. We are debt slaves.
Your Moral Obligation (never mind the bailouts)
The mortgage is how they trap us in this rat race for petroleum sugar. What is the consequence of walking away from a mortgage? Financial ruin is. If you had a well intentioned cosigner on the mortgage, say a parent who thought this slavery was a good idea, the bank may be within their right to come after the parents property as well. Also the bank will sue you in court and place a lien on your future prosperity, and the IRS will tax you for the difference between what the house sales for at auction and what you owe. The IRS considers this income and taxes it accordingly. In today's world there is a very good chance that another consequence will be not being able to get hired because employers are now running credit on potential employees and using their credit as a yard stick for character and employability.
All of these consequences for what? Deciding that you needed to move. Nobody would buy your house because you got shanghaied by a bunch of corrupt inspectors, realtors, lawyers, and bankers. Your house is worth $30,000 less then you paid for it because of something economist expect us to apply to reality called a "housing bubble," and now your going to spend the next 30 years paying ten times what you agreed to buy the house for because of a bunch of lawyer print. Meanwhile due to the inspector and realtor lying their asses off to your young, inexperienced, and gullible ass, you sign the lawyers tome of paper that's lacquered with millions of words composing sentences that the lawyers can't even explain. Later, while your slaving away for the man, in order to make the house payment and fix the broken house you just bought, you realize that you have been bamboozled by a bunch of crooks. This is where it get's interesting. Because society says that it's your responsibility and moral obligation to service the bamboozle. Nevermind the 2 trillion dollars that the bank got in free digital money to assist in their obligations. They are too big to fail, and "you ain't shit jack, so shut your mouth and punch that clock."
So a whole troupe of snakes in the grass collectively ambushed your youthful ignorance. You bought into the lies that the telescreen had been telling you your entire life. The lies that society had been telling you. The lies that everybody in your life had been telling you. You bought into the idea that giving up your freedom for a place to live was a good idea. That's what you were supposed to do. Buy a house, have a family, work, and live the American dream. What part of owning a home is the American Dream anyways? Why is it a necessary part of "making it," or happiness for that matter. Even when you own a home you don't own it. You still have to pay taxes on it, and if the government decides they want it they can give you half of what it's worth and take it via imminent domain. Where is the security in that? How is that making it or happiness? And what is the price you pay for this deal? You agree that if you can't make ends meet than you will be financially ruined. They will destroy your credit and make it harder for you to find work. All of this because you were essentially taken advantage of by your society.
Question is, should you walk away? Morally you are well in the right to do so. A bunch of greedy crooks lied to you, society lied to you, the government lied to you...you were lied to. None of that matters now. It's too late for you because you were the sucker. Now society says that you should spend the rest of your life paying for the fact that you were taken advantaged of and lied to. You should sacrifice the rest of your waking life to pay for this lie. Is a runaway slave ever wrong for escaping?
The Broken Mold and Insane Sanity.
Becoming a father does not negate anything written above. All of what I have said is still true. The difference is that now I have a son to provide for. Question is, what does "provide for" mean? It goes without saying that food and shelter are first and foremost. The love for a child will not allow for anything less than the child's physical needs being met. That love will endure slavery to provide those things. But what about the pursuit of truth? What of the esoteric idea that without helping oneself first, one can help nobody else. The log that Jesus was talking about. The whole point of Buddhism, or any other spiritual practice for that matter. These things don't only apply to lonely individuals with no family to think about. The pursuit of truth is the most important aspect of consciousness. One has to be free to pursue and follow through with these truths.
Am I to teach my son that acquiescence to the Corporatocracy's design is first and foremost? Am I to teach him that what you find to be true does not matter because it won't put food on your plate and a roof over your head? Am I to teach him to ignore the truth because it's not worth the psychological bother to wrestle with the insanity of society? Am I to teach him that the most important thing is to do what he is told by his corporate masters? Am I to be a good example for him and give up on my responsibility to service my soul in order to be a good consumer? Should I teach him that sacrificing your waking life for a house and good credit is of the utmost importance when servicing the debt slavery that is 21st century America? Should I teach him that staying out of trouble is vastly more important than living the truth? Should I tell him that signing a piece of paper might mean you are signing away your freedom, but you will never know which paper will take your freedom until its gone, but you have to sign or else they won't permit your participation in society? Should I tell him that truth, freedom, and spirit only matter when they are convenient and will provide for socially accepted and comfortable outcomes, but never when they mean pain and suffering for yourself and your family? What good would I even be to him if misery is my life because I'm living a lie? Why does being responsible mean living a lie?
Society does not agree with my message. Yet still I maintain it's truth. Against the grain and with as much resistance as I can find, I steadfastly refuse to believe that I am wrong in my assessment of society. The writing is on the wall. Without my willful assimilation there will not be a normal end to this struggle. The mold was broken when they made me. They fixed the mold and somehow forgot to destroy the broken product. Here I am. Struggling to fit back into a mold that I can't possible fit into. My brain has to be re-wired to fit me in. I have to check in at the doctor's office to get my mandatory, non-mandatory, chemical lobotomy that will enable me to stop caring about the truth and start servicing my corporate slave driving masters. I won't be able to sacrifice my son's life on the man's sacred alter of debt profit. I suppose the tragedy is that the mold was broken on January 22nd 1980 at around 1300 hrs. My life has made this truth abundantly clear. There is no hope in debt slavery. That's why we need all of those euphemisms and the process of doublethink. False hope is not hope, it's a lie. My hope is that the system crashes to the ground before the scheduled date for my lobotomy, cause I'm not going to show up Jack. Not so that you can suck the life out of me. My life's not cheap, and I'm going to figure out a way to escape your prison, and my families comin' with me. The hallucinated hologram control matrix paradigm architecture has a fault and I'm going to find it, and when I do you won't be hearing from me ever again. You can keep your insane sanity.