Waiting for Godoom

Here is some more cathartic and monotonous droning for you to read. It's cathartic for me at least. The topic is one that has been rode hard and put up wet over and over again all over the doomosphere for the last five years or so it would seem. That topic is the question of when will this state of suspended animation of business as usual change for our global experiment failure? I can't be the only one sitting around waiting for the ball to drop. I'm not talking about waiting for doom either (Godoom maybe). Just a change in consciousness for the average human would be nice. We know this shit ain't sustainable so what gives?

How could it be that the entire world thinks we can just continue on brow beating and strong arming the planet into feeding us evil alchemical petroleum snacks? How could it be that everyone thinks petroleum will just continue on indefinitely? For cryin' out loud, "Augmented Humanity"?!! Why don't they cut the bull shit and just call it Orwell meets Huxley's shared vision of a dark humanity where we eat each other's brains in an attempt to not have to think at all....for any reason...ever again. People actually want to plug in to the Matrix literally? The geekiest Google geeks want to fucking plug into their phones and ignore real reality in exchange for virtual reality? This is the future they want?  For more on this topic go on over to an excellent blog fresh off of the type pad of Jason Heppenstal of "22 billion energy slaves."  His latest is titled "Googling the Googlers."  Reading his latest was what set me off on this rant actually.   I highly recommend the read (although I'm aware that you're probably already aware of his blog, and you have probably already read it, but there it is.   My humble endorsement). 

 Fuck it, we gave up on traversing the universe on the Axiom and now we'll just collectively plug in and drop out. Eventually we'll just get rid of our bodies and be in an electronic bliss where everyone is your "friend" so long as you're their "friend." What does "friend" mean? It just means that you "like" whatever stupid shit they are doing and they like yours. Click click click, drag drag drag, like like like, left or right and nothing else...horse blinders. Can't you here the conversation our bodiless race will have at the virtual pub "and what was that thingy overhead we used to need again that used to keep all life on planet earth alive? The s-s-sum...somthin' or rather that the sooooo 20th century human used to talk about. It was up there in the sty or something like that. People used to worship it. Can you believe that? Our ancestors were such barbarians." Hell, there are people who think spaghetti noodles grow over there in guadalasomthiny. I'd love a fuckin' pizza plant myself. Or maybe even an iphone plant.

I do realize how harsh I sound. I don't consider myself to be any special intellect. I dropped out of college six times I think. Hell I even dropped out of the Navy followed by dropping out from the idea of a job entirely. How the hell am I supposed to get the things I need to live and keep a healthy household without a job? Well, I'll tell you...magic that's how. Just like a Disney wizard or sorceress. I do it the same way your iphone will feed you when you drop out from real reality. I make a pentagram on the floor in my garage with the blood from a slaughtered chicken and then chant in tongues to Beetlegeuse for a check to arrive in the mail box. It arrives and I go buy fried petroleum possum buttholes covered in Ranch with American imitation cheese food melted in the microwave for a dipping sauce. Goes down real nice and keeps my family nice and gargantuan just like our energy bill. I don't have to worry about my health because the scientist make pills for that, and at any rate we're not going to even need our bodies or brains once the technogeeks figure out how to plug our stupid asses into the matrix for good.

Doesn't anybody care about nature anymore? I don't mean the co-opted save the whales green deauchery type of nature either. I mean the go outside and put seeds in the dirt nature. The sun and moon and stars nature. The listening to water flow over rock nature. Shit...just fucking go outside where the pavements not...nature. I guess I should look on the bright side. Once we get our stupid fat asses plugged in we won't need cars anymore, and we won't be fat anymore, and we won't need fried petroleum extra spicy racoon snot from the convenience store anymore. What's more convenient than not even needing a body? Who cares about nature anyways? That's sooooooo 2000 and late. Shit...my iphone is dying...where's the nearest magic plug hole in the wall? I need some magic energy to keep myself alive and entertained in the intersuckhole that's brought to you by the techno wizardry of google geekdom. Who needs a drink?

You'll be happy to know that the above concludes my ranting for the day. Now, I'd like to take this opportunity to make an announcement about the future of this blog. I'm thinking of writing the story of my drop out from the Matrix. By that I mean less commentary and more reporting on how things have gone for me since I decided to resign from the rat race. Part of me thinks that nobody would enjoy reading the story of a society flunky, and that I shouldn't even bother with publishing it on the web. That is the pessimistic side of the optimistic pessimist. The optimist side of the optimistic pessimist thinks that it may be entertaining and informative for some to read. It features slaying 7 foot long black snakes with a dull hoe, satan worshiping southern baptist ra-tards, 50 year old lesbians in a blue tin can trailer with penis envy, and all manner of I couldn't make this shit up plot made possible by the extra special stupid that breeds around these parts in Palookavile...where I live...unfortunately for me. I think it needs to be told. That's what is on the menu at Epiphany now for the next undetermined amount of time.

Looking through the list of my past blogs I've concluded that I've pretty much said enough about reality of the reality persuasion. I've said enough about the doomalypse that we're all waiting for. We all know the magic go juice tank is on empty. The Archdruid is writing about how the American empire is going to get it's fat ass beat down by the likes of Won Ling and friends (there will be no apocalypse however...so don't worry yourself about that). Apocalypse Not, Epiphany Now, Apocalypse Now...now, now, now brown cow how now? Where was I going? What day is it? Is this a week day? Unfortunately I do mind Mr. Lebowski, and now back to my point. I don't think writing about how fucked, stupid, and depraved we are as a species is going to benefit anybody any longer. At least not here at Epiphany Now. I say that, but you know that I know that you know that Ima gonna continue bad mouthing this shit for brains species cause I can't help it. I'm just saying that I'm going to try my damn hardest to write a story here instead of bitching all the time. 

"just one more thing dude."

"Yeah, what's that?"

"Do you have to cuss so much?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Have it your way dude."

(if you don't know, by way of explanation, I have what I refer to as "lebowski turrets."  That's why I cuss so much...and I just think it's funny)