How To Disappear Completely

How can one be in the world but not of it? More precisely, is it possible to work for the proverbial Man, have a house payment, a wife, and a child, and not be subject to all of the machinations that dominate domestic society? Is it possible to be tethered to society by these responsibilities and still remain fundamentally free and healthy? Is there anything more important than the day to day mental, physical, and spiritual health of yourself and your family? Is there still room in the reality we have fashioned for such things as idealism? What does it even mean to be free anymore? Does the right to say and think what you want in the privacy of your own home qualify as freedom now? Are we going to be honest with ourselves about all of these things, or are we going to just continue business as usual?

As the economy continues imploding from the weight of limitless digital currency, as liquid fossil fuel energies become more and more bleak, and as climate change continues threatening everybody's real security (as in a roof over your head, not fear of Al Queefa and Friends), and as our world grows more toxic attempting to maintain all of this business as usual, we continue loosing any semblance of freedom because we are too afraid of impoverishment and third world lifestyles. Fear has grown to dominate every facet of modern civilization. We are afraid of loosing our irreplaceable service jobs and therefore becoming economic non-persons without a house, good food to eat, or health care. We continue servicing business as usual because we see no other option.

Why should our families have their security sacrificed for true freedom? Does true freedom even exist? Has it ever been more than just an idealist's wet dream? The only thing that gives freedom in this world is money, and money is the root of all evil, so in order to be free you must at the very least service evil. In order to have security you have to service the evil men that keep this rotten wreckage we pass of as civilization creaking along. Don't think for one second that if you live in the first world you are good, you aren't. You can be good if you ignore the real suffering that is going on in the very real third world shit holes that keep your way of life viable. To be completely honest, just about anything you do for money in this country is contributing to the insanity that is this mess. Something that would appear noble and altruistic in this country is going to be rotten by default because of all of the suffering that this system perpetuates. Why is it that we can so easily ignore this fact? You know that your clothing is being manufactured by true third world slaves working for nothing more than a roof, water, and sustenance.  It's not a secret to anybody.  

As true as the above insight is, it doesn't help at all where our freedom is concerned. I would gladly give up this deceitful, hallucinated hologram, mental control paradigm dragnet for a hut that provided shelter in a land that was not overran with toxicity. I would rather work at sustainability in a village than provide service to the hologram. At least I would be free from day to day. By free I mean not beholden to any man for toxic payment. I wouldn't have to grovel on the Man's asphalt roadway of destruction for a house that requires the grid, allopathic remedy’s for diseases caused by poisonous food and allopathic remedy's for the allopathic remedies for the....you get the point, and let's not forget about the pill to help me deal with the sale of my soul in service of corruption, evil, and greed. Joe Bageant knew all of this too well. He was stuck in the system just like the rest of us and was only able to leave it, to redeem his soul, in the last few years of his life. I want to leave the hologram so bad that at times I'm not sure how I'm going to proceed, yet now I have a wife and child to care for.

I could make a strong case that I'm doing my family more harm by keeping them in the hologram. If only there were an escape plan! Unfortunately I believe the hologram has now just about covered every inch of the globe. I fear that there is no escape plan possible any longer. At this point the best one could do would be what Joe did, move to a third world that is relatively not toxic. Allopathic remedy's may be needed in a system where every aspect of life is truly poisonous, but not so much if one can escape most of those sources of poison. In all reality, allopathic becomes homeopathic in our civilizations diseased house of cards. If homeopathy is treating disease with agents that cause the same symptoms as the disease, then modern allopathic remedies are homeopathy given that we use poison to treat diseases caused by poison. If you think that the animal products produced by Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations, genetically modified vegetables grown with petroleum based chemicals, hundreds of corn based products such as the ubiquitous Petroleum Sugar, and pharmaceuticals that have worst side effects than the original disease constitutes health, than you have completely lost touch with the meaning of healthy. Why do we condone all of this madness? How did it get to this point? We should all be collectively outraged at the morbid evil of it all. What is keeping this poisonous wreckage moving? Can't you feel anything any longer? Have you been out of touch with goodness and common sense for so long that you can't even recognize it any longer? Is this all not a source of angst and sorrow for you?

So how does freedom fit into all of this rambling? I wonder what a Muslim in a MENA country would have to say about freedom right now? What would the third world slave have to say about it? The Muslim would probably say that he just wants to see his 20 year old female neighbor in a bikini and be able to drink a beer while chewing the fat about how messed up his government is without the fear of torture. The slave would probably say they would just like free water that isn't loaded with industrial chemicals to drink and something more than some beans to eat. For them, that is enough freedom because it's better than what they have now. 

 I say that I would like to have the freedom to not contribute to all of this hidden suffering while still maintaining a lifestyle for myself and my family that is safe, comfortable, and healthy. At least within reason. Safe being not having to worry about anthropogenic climate change wrecking my home; comfortable being not having to work for another man's greed, and healthy being not having to worry about GMO, MSG, petroleum sugar, and cancer causing treatments passed off as medicine. No, we are not free. We are free to make trivial decisions like what television show to watch or what fast food fry pit to buy some foodotainment from. Free to chose what distraction we want to concern ourselves with so as not to concern ourselves with truths like what I'm writing about now. These things are all just too depressing for most people to internalize.

I think even if the majority of society wanted to know the truth it probably wouldn't do any good. I'm a realist with idealistic fantasies. An optimistic pessimist. What I am can be labeled all sorts of ways, but in the end I'm in service of all things true. I'm not in denial about the fact that I have been participating in this evil hologram for my entire life. I'm not pointing the finger at anybody and saying you are wrong. I'm pointing my finger at all of us and saying that we are wrong. I'm wrong too, and it causes me great distress to continue contributing to it while knowing all along what I am contributing to. I want the freedom to not contribute to it any longer. Sacrificing all of my time to continually navigate the hologram successfully is beginning to gnaw at my soul.

Our souls are not deceived by the holograms trickery. There will be a price to pay for all of this apathy, complacency, and contribution to suffering. The point is to put a stop to the devastation in your own life. If I could go back in time I would leave the hologram and find some place like Joe Bageant found in Belize, or South America maybe. I would move somewhere where I could live a subsistence lifestyle out of the Man's grasp. Where my time would be my own. Where I would make real sacrifices for my fellow man and live a life that is slow and in touch with the natural cycles of nature. I don't think it's impossible to find this on Earth now, but it's probably pretty damn close to it. The corporations typically don't allow that type of thing because there must be resources to live a subsistence lifestyle. As in trees, clean water, and chemical free soil. If you are young and untethered, run away from the hologram. At least you will be able to sleep at night with a clean conscious knowing that you aren't participating in the consumer rot. You aren't participating in the passive aggressive madness that makes slaves sacrifice their lives for you so that you can buy cheap toilet seats and generally service the Man and his gargantuan ego and his bank account.

What Our Masters Look Like

I don't know what the answer is for me at this moment in time. I can hear the Man scratching at the gossamer screen door that is all that's left separating my soul from his shackles. My entire life has been mainly just trying to make my way without worshiping money. I've lived my life being mostly true to myself, but unfortunately I was to young and stupid to listen to enough of the wisdom available to me in time to do something meaningful...as in identify and then leave the hologram. I suppose all that's left is to get back on the road that leads to my salvation from all of the non-sense that we have built as a species. Deliver my soul up at the alter of forgiveness and hope that the powers that be on the next level of existence forgive me of my stupidity. Pray that a solution will present itself before they crame a Zoloft down my throat, stuff a Victory cigarette in my mouth and light it for me followed by funneling inebriation into my psyche by way of Victory Gin. Freedom is Slavery. Run and don't look back, before it's too late.  

Just as a disclaimer.  I feel it's probably needed at this point.  All of these truths are depressing to me.  As in I am aware that it is a depressing message.  I don't lose sleep over any of this.  I lose a lot of my waking life thinking about it, but I don't lose sleep.  When I look at my smiling baby boy's face, or listen to his giggles and laughs, it lifts my spirits to great heights.  When I watch my son and my wife play together, it makes all of my holographic contributions fade away.  In those moments I don't think about all of the terrible corporate driven insanity.  Those things are what give me the momentum to continue in this mental drudgery.  I'm sure the Nazi's went home to their families and felt the same way.  They thought they were doing what was right because their hologram of national pride told them it was right.  Just as our corporate consumer Ambien hologram sings us lullaby jingles from the idiot box telescreen when we lay our heads down on our third world manufactured pillow.  

So the disclaimer, I'm healthily depressed about this depressing world, depressed with a smile.  I'm just happy to be contributing to keepin' the whole stinkin' mess afloat.  I mean if I were to be depressed with a frown than you would have to start worrying.  It wouldn't be socially correct to go around telling everybody the truth.  So don't worry about me, worry about your souls part in this Greek Tragedy.    Maybe one day I'll surprise you and write about something that's happy.  But for now...this will have to do:

My Inner Self